Bite the beaches

Wild Sea On Las Olas

Frist off ” Why do we choose to dine on Las Olas?”
Because we like to pay too much, park too far, and pretend we’re enjoying ourselves while being served indifference on a white plate.

Las Olas is where ambiance goes to flirt with disappointment. We come for the vibe, stay for the cocktails, and leave wondering how a $40 fish could taste like office printer paper.

Dining on Las Olas is basically a sport — you compete for parking, endurance-test your patience with the wait staff, and practice your best fake smile when the bill arrives.

At this point, I don’t go to eat — I go for the performance art.

Now on to the pick of the week Wild Sea.

If “Wild Sea” refers to the state of your stomach after eating here, then the name is spot on. The place looks nice — all coastal chic and Instagram-ready — but beneath that fancy decor lurks a menu that tastes like it lost a fight with a microwave.

Our waiter clearly missed his calling as a prison warden — every interaction felt like a punishment. He sighed when we asked questions, rolled his eyes when we ordered, and vanished entirely when we actually needed something. I started to wonder if “Wild Sea” referred to the waves of hostility coming off our server.

When my drink finally arrived (after what felt like a small geological era), he practically dropped it on the table like he was auditioning for a role in Waiters Gone Wild: The Angry Edition.

I ordered the “Blacken Fish Tacos ,” and I swear it tasted like it had been caught sometime during the Obama administration. The only thing wilder than the fish was the price — my lunch cost more than my first car, and it came with a sprinkle of something pretending to be sauce.

To be fair, the view of Las Olas was lovely — perfect for gazing out and wondering where it all went wrong.

In short: if you enjoy overpaying for under seasoned seafood while listening to other diners pretend they’re impressed, Wild Sea is your new spiritual home. For everyone else, might I suggest literally anywhere else with a fryer and a pulse?